God

so recently i have really been thinking and im really starting to think that this whole God thing isnt for me i mean he doesnt ever seem to be there when i need him and he doesnt seem to listen when i call to him. i dont know what to do anymore and im sick of hearing the same old thing over and over agian i dont wanna hear it anymore. I dont want you to push me into believing it. i want to be able to discover what God really means to me and all that kinda stuff. but if you have ever went though what im talking about and im sure you all have please let me know how you got out of it. because i could really use your help right now.