Falling away

For the last several months I have been falling farther and farther away from God as much as I hate to admit it but I have been. Last night though it was crazy my friend was having a really hard time and we really depressed and God gave me the perfect things to say to her. I was astounded because I never just up and talk about God anymore at least not the way I was last night. It was crazy because I kept saying things and for the longest time didn't even know where they were coming from but after only a few minutes I realized that God was giving me the words. The things she really needed to hear. And after that I decided it was time to starting running back to him , no not walking or a lite jog a full speed sprint. Because I realized that if I just let him have the control then life wont be as hard. Now don't get me wrong it will still be hard , there are going to be times when I will wonder if he is even still there but just like the bible says "I will never leave your nor forsake you" He means that!! If he didn't then last night I would not have been able to say even 1/4 of the things that came out of my mouth. Yeah I could have talked in circles for an hour but instead I had some many things to say I talked to her for 3 hours. God has such a bigger plan for us then we can see right now because he is bigger then right here and now he is bigger then your past and your future. If you let him he has great things planned for you and yes it is scary not being in the drivers seat of your own life , but that is the amazing thing about God. With him in the driver seat your so much safer then with you in it , he knows whats waiting around the corner he knows where the little shards of glass along the way are , and he know when there is going to be a delay and can take you another way. So I don't know about you guys but I am putting God back in my drivers seat. I hope you all will too because he just wants what is best for us , and loves you like you never knew was possible. Keep your heart and eyes on God and he will always be there even on the days you don't think he is.

Love you all and may God touch each of your lives in an amazing way
xoxoxo

music

Just because a song isn't consitered a christian song doesn't mean it cant be interperted as a song about God.  I have been listening to the song Where did you go by Stephen Jerzak , and honestly every time I hear it I think of God.

I wonder where you are today, If you’re near or far away I watched you leave again, you led my heart astray If  you ever saw my face Would you know what to say Or would you look at me like I was out of place
Where did you go? Where did you go? Where did you run to I’m dying to know Where did you go? Where did you go? Is this really the end or will I even see you again
Do you still think of me or what we used to be When you sleep at night am I ever in your dream. I’ll do anything just to see your face, I remember when you would’ve done the same

That is just a portion of the lyrics just so you can get an idea of what I mean. Yes it is actually a sad love song but to me sometimes I think of my relationship with God as a  sad love song. Because of the fact that I constantly leave him and he just paciently waits on me to come back. Its not just me who runs away from God though a lot of you guys probably do it too (not juding anyone because I do it too). But when I honestly sit down and think about it. This song for me reminds me that he is always waiting on me even when I go astray. Maybe im crazy for this song having a Godly meaning to me but it does.  If you guys have any thoughs just leave them in the comment box I'm always open to others thoughs and opinions.


Love you all
xoxo

Wow

I cant believe its been almost two years since I last posted in this. I guess time has just gotten away from me. I have been feeling really convicted here lately. I know life gets crazy but I have learned that if you don't put got at the top of your crazyness then you dont really seem to be able to make time for him. I have really pulled away from God lately and I have never been more misrable in my life. It's hard to explane but he has really been talking to me these last few days. In this last year I have messed my life up in so many ways , that would have never happend if I had kept God my number 1 priority. Im working on putting him back there and I know that some of you are probably faceing the same problem. Believe me I know its not easy , but I promise you that he is still there or if you have not come to him before he is anxiously awaiting you. He loves you way more than you know. I hope to start posting on here a lot more again even if everyone has stopped checking this blog. Seeing as how its been 2 years I don't expect anyone to still be reading this but maybe you just happened to land on my blog , or maybe you are an old follower. Either way Im glad you happen to be reading this.

I love you all

xoxo

Love

We all love many things like I love my family, my cat, my friends, books, and many other things but I also love God which is something a lot of people say but only few really mean it. We have been talking about Martyrs in my youth group here a lot and those people truely loved God and devoted themselves to him. Like Rachel Scott who was just a christian teenager who stood up for God and was shot. there are many others who stood up for the love they had for God. And If you truly love God should be able to easily say yes i believe in him and live the life he wants you to and if it comes down to you losing your life for him then you should be proud. And also he sent his son to die for us because he LOVES us sooo much so why wouldn't we be willing to die for him?

nothing is ever normal

So im really giving this whole God thing a shot. Im trying to go at it full heartedly. Key word trying, but i want it so im really trying. i have made so many mistakes in the past that trying to look forward is just plain hard. I really need all the help i can get. So if you know any helpful bible verses that would be awesome if you could let me know some. well thats pretty much it.

love always

♥kisses and kix♥

God

so recently i have really been thinking and im really starting to think that this whole God thing isnt for me i mean he doesnt ever seem to be there when i need him and he doesnt seem to listen when i call to him. i dont know what to do anymore and im sick of hearing the same old thing over and over agian i dont wanna hear it anymore. I dont want you to push me into believing it. i want to be able to discover what God really means to me and all that kinda stuff. but if you have ever went though what im talking about and im sure you all have please let me know how you got out of it. because i could really use your help right now.

Blog Blog Blog Blog Blog

okayy so honestly no one reads this blog so i find it point less to keep it going. i know i hardly everr post but thats because no one ever reads it..so if you actually do read it post a comment and tell me if you want me to keep it going or if i should just delet it. thanks!